i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
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