i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
