So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
