first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
