I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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