one two three fourrrrnication!
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
