a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
