Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
