Pants 0. Shit 1.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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