How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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