I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?