Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
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She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
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Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"