I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
