He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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