He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
