Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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