Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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