My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
