There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
