I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
