I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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