any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
