Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
