Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
