How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize