Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
our cab driver is having phone sex.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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