the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
