I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
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He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
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my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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