At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize