It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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