1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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