Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
How's work?
Spinning.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
