just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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