I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You left your phone here
Wait...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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