haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
