If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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