sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
