do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Who died my cat blue again?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
