addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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