she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
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didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
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You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
FUCK WHALES
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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