bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
