I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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