Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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