You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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