I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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