What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
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Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
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after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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