I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
