considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's blow job season.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
