am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
