Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
