Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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