What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
