You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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