So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
