ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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