i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize