my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
