I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
