So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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