So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
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I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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