I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
