so explain again why im purple
no
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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