Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
