i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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