I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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