Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Randomize
