I'm really into asian looking animals
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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