how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
