Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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