Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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